[x]

deviantART

 

{I Wanna Fuck You Like An Animal}&&EDIT

Wed Sep 19, 2007, 12:44 AM
  • Mood: Defeated
  • Listening to: Nine Inch Nails - The Perfect Drug Remix
  • Reading: Nothin
  • Eating: Teriyaki Rice
  • Drinking: Cream Soda
It's been longer than normal since I've posted here, which I'm sure no one is complaining about. I've had a lot of shit going down in my life lately, on top of classes, on top of relationship issues. . . . . .Shit's not been too good.

I've been having some minor drug issues lately this year, which I'm getting help for now. I'm going for an AODA assessment next week, during which I'll be able to talk to the counselor on camus who knows more about drugs and addictions and stuff. I'm really hoping right now that things can be done more my way than the way my counselor would suggest, because that's not going to work, I already know. She told me today that she would suggest quitting everything at once, instead of just focusing on the one drug. The problem is, I only want to quit this one, and not the others, so if we end up doing that I'm going to relapse so many times it won't even be worth it. So I'm kinda worried about that assessment next week, but hopefully things will work out.

On top of that, I'm having guy problems. I met this guy the first time my freshman year here, in IMPACT. He trained me for the postion I held last year before graduating and going to live in Germany for a year. Now he's back on campus as the nighttime hall director for the complex I live in. I've been hanging out with him a lot the last couple of weeks, and I started realizing that I'm kind of falling for him. He's only 4 years older than me, which isn't too terrible, especially when you consider that David was 6 years older than me. He's a very sweet guy too, and I've found it to be incredibly easy to talk to him about everything. He's the one who gt me in to make an appointment at the counseling center last week, and "forced" me to go without making me feel like it wasn't my choice. Anyway, the problem is that he is only temporary. They are right now looking for a replacement for our former hall director, and once they find one, both of them are gone. And I know, if I let myself realize how much I'm starting to like this guy, he's going to leave and I'm going to end up hurt. I mean, fuck, I helped him Sunday night to fill out some paperwork so he can get a job back in St. Louis again. I so don't want to fall for him, but I like him more every time we spend time together, which is often.

EDIT: It is official, a new hall director has been hired. I just found out tonight. I have one week, and no idea if I want to tell him anything or not. Fuck.
/EDIT

So those are my two biggest issues right now. I've been trying to get some more poetry written, but I keep running into blocks. Either my mood changes, or I just feel like I'm writing the same thing over and over and over again, and I don't want to be one of those poets. But I might get something done soon, and you'll all definately know when that happens.

Other than that, not too much to talk about right now. I'm off to eat my rice and find something to do for the rest of the night. Ciao!

yo.he.estado.aqui.muchas.veces.antes.y.regreso

Recent Submissions (Yes, I love them =D):
Midnight's Interlude
Orbiting The Wasteland
False Idols and Warring Gods
Synthetic God
CandyLand
Interlude To Madness

OMFD (Oh My Fucking Davey) !!

so.selfish
this.day.should.last.forever



+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Join Morbid Beauties, a gothic website. Includes a journal, commenting, rating, pictures, and a forum of it's own!!

Lovies, bitches!
--------------------------------------------------------
My MySpace Profile:
[link]
------------------
My Sister's Gallery: ~slayer-of-the-south
------------------
Co-Admin of:
:iconwhenthecutgoesindeep:
------------------
Shameless plug. . .
Interested in BDSM in any way?? Then join my group ~Obey-Me! Just follow this [link] read the rules, and send me a note to join!
My Group:
:iconobey-me:
----------------
My Stock Account:
:icontheblackflame:
----------------
Member of:
:icondapride: :iconthedownwardspiralnin: :iconthemadhatterssociety: :icondabloopers: :iconburn-p0etry: :iconvisualmelodies:

Devious Comments

love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0

Uh, yeah quitting cold turkey isn't the best thing to do it you aren't that type of person who can do that. o.O About the guy issue I don't really have any thing to say on that that won't have been brought up before. >.>; Seeing as he won't be staying there permanently.

--
"Run and hide but the Devil will always find you...."

Random Vin Diesel fact: In order to gain lordship over Hell, Lucifer was forced to sell his soul to Vin Diesel.

I am Remy LeBeau in dA's ~Claimers-Club

~BDB-DAFanClub member!
I think I might be able to quit cold turkey, I've done rather good trying that already, but if they say they can't help me with this one drug unless I quit all others at the same time, I'm not going to make it. You have to want to quit to avoid relapsing.

And yeah, I'm just trying to enjoy spending time with him now without admitting to my feelings. It's difficult, but it's the only way as I see it.

--
~Obey-Me

I used to stand for something
Now I'm on my hands and knees
Traded my god in for this one
And he signs his name with a capital G
Four years isn't a big deal. My husband is four years older than me, and I know a bunch of couples like that. I'm of the opinion that as long as both people are adults, it doesn't matter as long as you're happy :)

--
tanya simpson
rockstarvanity@volunteers.deviantart.com
gallery moderator, horror + macabre photography

welcome to the dark side
kick-start your horror art here . . .
Yeah, the four years doesn't bother me at all. I'm just kind of hoping now that I'll somehow be stupid and say something that will make telling him anything about how I feel inevitable. Otherwise I don't think I'll be able to say anything.

--
~Obey-Me

I used to stand for something
Now I'm on my hands and knees
Traded my god in for this one
And he signs his name with a capital G
Carpe Diem.

If you don't tell him, you'll forever wonder 'what if'.

--
"And then I stabbed him in the eye with a pencil!"
True. It's been strongly considered. I've still got a few days, and if I do I kind of want to save it for closer to when he leaves, just in case it makes things weird.

--
~Obey-Me

I used to stand for something
Now I'm on my hands and knees
Traded my god in for this one
And he signs his name with a capital G

Site Map